I'm grateful for...

I feel like it's been really easy to be negative lately and feel sorry for myself. Don't get me wrong; I'm happy. But lately my life has been like contractions- really painful for a few minutes, followed by a few minutes of peace and happiness, then more pain, more happiness...and on and on, up and down, through out the day. When things are good I feel like "yeah, I can do this!" but when I everyone's crying, telling me "No!" to everything I ask of them, or the baby won't let me put him down all day I get discouraged and want to go cry on the floor along side my 3 year old.

Well today I had enough, and finally pulled myself out of my disheveled, "I can't do this anymore" rut, and out of the house. I managed to look nice and get the kids dressed and out the door after naps that were accidently cut short because I made too much noise in their room adjusting their fan (Dang it!!). Getting out was just what we all needed. We got some errands done, and went to the park to enjoy the nice sunny weather we're having. I even successfully nursed at the park with out my nursing cover that I'd forgotten (I used a blanket, but usually find it awkward because I can't see what I'm doing and worry it'll fall off). The kids were able to get their energy out and loved seeing the ducks at the park's pond. Next time we'll bring bread. After we got home everything went smoother. I think I'm going to make it my goal to get out every day. Preferably outside, but an indoor activity (like a trip to a friend's house) will have to do on cold days (I'm sure there will be more of them- this is utah after all). It'll be good for all of us.

I know I can do this. I can balance 3 kids, a husband, and manage our home. It's just going to take some organization/planning of our time, resting when I can, flexibility, finding a new routine and some serious positive thinking (and maybe some occasional help).

To kick off my renewed efforts to think more positively I'd like to list a few things I'm grateful for...

1. Warm weather! I'm so grateful that the kids can finally play outside again.
2. A husband who lets me sleep in, works so hard at school and providing for us, and is always supportive of me- what ever my wants and needs may be.
3. That my kids love Owen. I know one day he'll love them back & I can't wait.
4. For supportive friends who have babysat and brought meals. Thank you!
5. Ice cream. No explanation needed.
6. That nursing is going better & that my friend convinced me to stick with it when I was ready to quit.
7. That we're all healthy (knock on wood)!
8. For my homemade moby wrap baby carrier. It's the most comfortable way I've ever worn a baby and Owen always stays asleep in it. I highly recommend it! (one day I'll post a picture of mine) They're very easy to make too.
9. Prayer. I couldn't do this with out the help of my Heavenly Father. I know he hears my pleas of help and is giving me the strength to get through each day.
10. A nice camera. I love to take pictures, although I haven't taken many lately. I'd like to try to take at least one picture a day- if not more- from now on. I need to get back in the habit of photographing life.

"Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve" -W. Clement Stone