Ollie's Birth Story

The story of Ollie's birth is one that I wish went differently, but thankfully still resulted in the birth of my sweet and healthy baby boy. It all began at 11:30 at night September 1st, Labor day. I was trying to fall asleep but my legs were feeling twitchy; my restless leg syndrome that always flares up during pregnancy. So Kart was trying to help me relax by rubbing my legs when all of a sudden I felt a very hard punch inside my belly from the baby and I barely had time to react to it when I realized the baby just broke my water! Someone was ready to be born! I knew exactly what to do because my water breaking has started labor for all of previous births, so I ran to the bathroom (as fast as a 9 month pregnant woman can!) and let it drain while I called my midwife, Sherri, and then my doula Melissa, to let them know "this is it".

Sherri asked how far apart my contractions were and I told her I didn't know, so she just waited on the phone and we timed them together. They were about 4 mins apart and getting closer, so she said she'd be right over. Then I called Melissa to let her know Sherri's was on her way and asked Melissa to come too. As soon as I could I changed into what I had thoughtfully picked out to wear. I wanted to wear something modest (eventually during labor that goes out the window but at least in the early stages of labor I prefer modesty to nudity), functional for labor and delivery (no pants), but something I could also feel beautiful in. So my mom and sister, Karalyn, helped me find this pretty plum colored short sleeved long jersey-knit nightgown that I knew I'd be comfortable in and that I felt was flattering on me so I could feel beautiful; something that's hard to feel when you're that huge and swollen. I felt like the better I looked, the better I'd feel, and the more relaxed and peaceful I could be, so that's why what I wore was really important to me. I even made sure to curl my hair every day at the end of my pregnancy just in case I went into labor so my hair would look nice. And a few days before the baby came my mom and I got pedicures and I had my eye lashes tinted so I would look better with out make-up (since my eyelashes are very blonde and kind of disappear without make up!). One of my main goals for this delivery was to be as relaxed and happy as possible, and I knew doing things to help me not worry about if looked okay would help make me feel more relaxed.

My birth team was very important to me as well. It was in-between babies, way before I was pregnant with Ollie, that I found Sherri's website when I was up late one night researching midwives in the area. I knew when I found her that she was the one. The spirit just spoke to my heart that she was the right fit for me. I didn't have a bad experience with my last midwife, but I just didn't personally connect with her like I wish I had. So on top of lots of experience, which Sherri has, I knew that personal connection was a priority for me this time around. I was right to pick her. She and I got along great and it was so easy to talk to her about anything. I agreed with her philosophies on birth and nutrition and loved that she holds monthly forums to educate her clients on nutrition, comfort measures and other pregnancy related things, as well as getting to hear her other clients come back and share their birth stories. Sadly I don't have any photos of her from Ollie's birth- but I wasn't the one with the camera.

I did get one of us with Melissa after one of her follow up visits with me. Melissa Chappell was my doula, but is equally well known in Utah as "Raw Melissa" for her healthy food products she sells locally. (which are so delicious by the way- and a lot of the recipes can be found on her website.) I met her years ago at an event where she was promoting her cookbook and demoing how to make a super delicious green smoothie.  I just really loved her personality.  She has a very special and uplifting energy about her that makes her a joy to be around. When I was later looking up her website I found out she's also an experienced doula.  I had never had a doula before but after hearing a friend rave about having a doula at her last birth, I decided I wanted to try having one too.  When I'm in labor it's hard for me to make decisions and give directions to Kart as to what I need because I'm so focused on managing my pain.  I felt like having a doula there would really help me, and she'd be able to work with Kart to give me the physical support (helping me stay comfortable during labor) and emotional support (encouraging me) that I would need so I could just focus on me and getting the baby here and not have to direct things. So when I got pregnant with Ollie I knew I wanted Melissa to be my doula.  I'm grateful she was available to take me as a client.  She was such a joy to work with! She and I had a private nutrition class early in my pregnancy and then she'd check in with me periodically throughout my pregnancy, but pretty often at the end to make sure I was doing okay.  Once when she texted me 2 weeks before ollie arrived, my whole family and I were sick, and when I told her I wasn't feeling well she gave me some great suggestions on things I could eat to help me heal, and then offered to bring me dinner and a few groceries to make green smoothies. It made my day and the dinner was delicious!  That's just how she is though.  She was always checking in on me after the baby came too for the first 6 weeks. (especially the first 2-3 weeks)

So, back to my labor! I got changed and waited for people to arrive.  My mom had flown in a week before just hoping to be there at the right time, so she was there that night and stayed with me through labor. She was a huge help and I'm grateful she could be there.  My kids were all asleep so I decided since it was late at night to just let them sleep, thinking I would probably give birth before they woke up in the morning anyway. Contractions were mild even when Melissa and Sherri showed up, which was fine because we were all just busy getting organized. Sherri immediately started setting up her supplies and Kart was bringing her all the things we were asked to provide. Stuff like chux pads, clorox wipes, olive oil, juice, pads (she made me some "pad-cicles" with witch hazel, numbing cream and aloe on it and then stuck them in the freezer for later)...and a bunch of other things. I had Kart turn on the playlist I made on Spotify for labor and put it on repeat. (If you have spotify it's my Relax playlist.) The criteria for the music I chose was that it had to make me feel good, relaxed, peaceful, and happy. That music made a huge difference to me in the way I felt.  I was really grateful I took the time to prepare it.  I sat on the exercise ball and Kart sat on the fireplace ledge right behind me.  When a contraction would hit Kart would put pressure by pushing on my lower back and Melissa, who sat on the floor in front of me, would press on my knees so I had pressure from both sides which really opened up my hips and relieved so much pressure from the contractions! It felt great and it helped me breath through each wave of contractions.  My mom kept commenting on how peaceful I looked, and that she couldn't believe I was having contractions! That made me feel good, because it meant things were going just like I'd hoped.  I wanted a calm and peaceful birth experience and for the first few hours that's exactly what it was.

Around 1:30 a.m. Sherri went to lay down and try to get a little sleep since things were going slow and smoothly and it seemed like I was going to labor like that for a while.  About an hour later she came out and had me sit on the birthing stool so she could check to see how dilated I was.  By this point contractions were getting much harder to get through, I had even thrown up a couple times, so I was really hopeful we were getting close to pushing. (I threw up during transition into pushing with Emma's birth) So when she told me I was 6 cm, I was pretty disappointed.  I still had a ways to go.  She felt like if we moved to my bed and tried some different positions that it might help move things along.  I was not excited to walk anywhere but I did want the baby out so I was willing to try what ever she asked of me.  Before I went to the bedroom I took a bathroom break and Melissa came with me to help me through any contractions I had while I was in there! While we were in the bathroom, Emma woke up to go to the bathroom.  I could tell she was a little concerned with what was going on (she saw me breathing through a contraction while Melissa pushed on my knees) but we explained that I was ok and that the baby would be here soon; which got her excited! She had recently seen the lion witch and the Wardrobe and there's a birth scene where the mother was screaming in pain.  It scared her and made her worry about me delivering the baby. (I talked to her about it and explained that's not what labor's really like.) So I was grateful I could show her thats not what childbirth is really like.  So after we finished in the bathroom and my mom helped emma back to bed I went to my room to continue labor.

For months Ollie's position was posterior,  meaning he was head down but facing my abdomen.  My midwife said it wasn't something to worry about and I know it's fairly common. Babies can even be born in a posterior position. So knowing all this, I wasn't that worried about it and just hoped he'd turn.  Sherri suggested a sleeping position to try and help turn him but apparently it didn't work. So he was still posterior the day of delivery.  Most of the time Sherri said babies are pretty responsive to her methods of getting them to turn, but not Ollie.  We tried different laboring positions. We tried the birthing stool, I tried laying on my side on the bed with my knee way up and my other leg straight.  I tried lunging, and getting on my knees and laying my upper body down on a bunch of pillows to try and draw him out of my pelvis to give him room to turn. While in my bedroom we finally tried pushing.  Every time I'd push Kart would tell me how close I was but it didn't feel like it. The baby kept coming out and then back in and wasn't making any progress.  I didn't mean to, but I kind of snapped at him and asked him stop telling me I was so close, because it got my hopes up and then when nothing came of my pushing it was really disappointing.  I was just feeling frustrated and tired...so tired. Melissa gave me a pep talk and told me I had it within me to keep going; that I was doing great which helped, but I was still exhausted. Sherri's assistant midwife put me on oxygen and kept giving me water and homeopathics and had me smell peppermint oil to help with the nausea that came in waves (the peppermint did help). But still nothing I did was working to get the baby to come out, and now I was starting to see the sun come up behind the mountains through my bedroom window.  I felt defeated.  I was so exhausted and felt like I couldn't keep going on like this anymore. I knew something was wrong.  He should've been here by now.  I had been pushing for 2 or 3 hours! So I turned around asked Sherri- "Is there something wrong?" After a pause, she said they (she and her assistant midwife) had tried everything they could to turn my baby but they weren't able to do it, and because of his position (he was posterior and his head was at the wrong angle) she felt we needed to transfer to the hospital. I said "Okay. Then lets go!" It was 6:30 a.m..

At this point I was ready for an epidural just so I could rest for a minute and collect the strength to finish pushing. I just wanted to do what we needed to do to get this baby safely out.  So Sherri called around trying to find a dr. that wouldn't be quick to give me a c-section (something I really didn't want but in that moment I was starting to mentally prepare for that as a possibility).  She has a dr. in Draper she loves and that works well with home birth midwives (sadly a lot of doctors are mean to home birth midwives) and who she was confident could help me avoid a c-section, but I really didn't feel like I couldn't handle the 25 minute drive to draper while having contractions in the car.  So she found another doctor in American fork (a lot closer) she felt would be a good option and we left the assistants to clean up and my mom to take the kids to my mother in law's house in Springville. Kart and I went with Melissa and rode in the back of her car and she followed Sherri to the hospital. This was probably the worst part of the whole experience. Having contractions in the car was so hard! Kart did his best to help me through it, and I couldn't have done it with out him, but it was awkward trying to get comfortable and in a position that he could put pressure on my lower back. (I had to be on my hands and knees)

None of us at the birth had eaten all night.  Which was a shame because I had all these snacks prepared especially for the birth team and myself, but I didn't get them out right when labor started and then because I was in the middle of labor didn't think to tell someone else to get them out. So by the time we pulled up to the hospital Kart was feeling nauseous (probably because he'd hadn't eaten in hours and had been working super hard all night long with not many breaks to help me get through contractions doing counter pressure).  So Melissa stayed outside the hospital with him for a minute while he sat down and just breathed deeply with his head down till he felt a little better, which thankfully didn't take long.  Meanwhile, I was rushed in a wheelchair into the maternity ward. Sherri made sure they knew the situation and got me a room right away, which I was grateful for.  I didn't want to be in a wheelchair while I was having contractions!  The nurse didn't waste time getting me hooked up to an IV.  I told her I was ready for an epidural but I was surprised when she responded by saying I didn't need one, because Dr. Jones would have this baby out quickly. That confident answer from the nurse was all I needed to hear to get my second wind.  The end was in sight! My mom showed up just as Dr. Jones arrived. She was grateful she didn't miss the birth and I was glad she made it too.  So I had my mom, my midwife, my doula and my husband there as the Doctor and his nurse had me start pushing again. Somehow I found a burst of energy and was able to push even harder than I had at home.  With every push he would carefully, but firmly, turn the baby's head a little, and then I'd push and he'd turn it a little more, until he finally had him facing the right direction and with a few more pushes he came right out! Sweet relief!

Ollie's bottom lip kept quivering, so I tried doing skin to skin contact to warm him up in case he was cold.  It was so wonderful just to finally be able to hold him close. (which is one of many reasons I look like I'm about to cry in these pictures!) 

Apparently Dr. Jones has a reputation for being the best doctor at that hospital at turning babies, and I'm grateful he was there that night.  That was divine intervention for sure. You would hope by your fourth baby it would get easier to deliver, but so far that has not been my experience.  This delivery, as with all of my deliveries, pushed me to my limits and sometimes what felt like beyond my limits. But because of the strength God helped me find within myself, along with the help of my amazing husband, my mom, my doula, my midwife and her team and the doctor and his nurse, at 9am on September 2nd 2014 Oliver Asher Barnett finally made it safely into my arms.  I couldn't have been happier. The work is always worth it in the end. He was so cute, and strong (lifting his head up his first day) and I was so just happy he was finally here! All of us were so dead tired.  It was a long night and my wonderful birth team worked so hard for me and the baby. I can't say enough how grateful I am for the role they each played it Ollie's birth. I was also very grateful that the dr. and nurses, with out me even having to ask, immediately put Ollie on my chest after he came out and allowed me to hold him as long as I wanted before taking him to weigh, measure and check him.

We didn't settle on a name until about an hour after he was born; Kart wanted to see him first.  We had several names we loved, but Ollie/Oliver, was always top of my list and Asher was my great grandpa Condie's name. (we wanted a family name for his middle name). Once we were all settled Melissa left, and my mom went to locate a carseat for us. (we ordered one but it hadn't arrived yet and I didn't think we'd be driving anywhere anytime soon because the baby was suppose to be born at home!) Sherri stayed with us until we checked out of the hospital, which always takes forever!  It was all so complicated because we didn't want to stay, and we weren't following normal protocol for a hospital birth.  But eventually, 5 hours after arriving, we went home with our sweet new baby boy!

Sherri made sure I made it home okay and got me settled in there and then she left.  I saw her again two days later when she came to check on both me and the baby. She also took my placenta from the hospital and gave it to a woman she recommends for placenta encapsulation because I wanted to try that this time.  It's suppose to be really great for postpardum.  It helps curb postpartum depression, replenish lost nutrients, increase milk production, increase energy, lessen postpardum bleeding, is a natural iron supplementation, and helps contract the uterus back to normal size. I can't testify to all of those things happened (although I'm not saying they didn't) but I can definitely tell you that it helped me feel more emotionally stable.  When I would forget to take a dose I would cry really easily, but when I'd take them I felt so much better and didn't cry at the drop of a hat. That alone made me a believer and I plan to do placenta encapsulation again if I have another baby.

So my experience with this birth was not what I expected.  I ended up with what I'm calling a home & hospital birth. I still feel like I had a home birth. It just ended in the hospital.  It was disappointing that I ended up in the hospital because that's not where I wanted to deliver my baby, but also because that meant hospital bills.  We were so excited to have paid off our doula and midwife bills before the baby came, so to end up with hospital bills was pretty frustrating. Despite the disappointments though, which I've finally come to terms with, there were some really beautiful memories I'll take away from the experience as well.  Those peaceful moments at home laboring while we all chatted happily in between contractions. (I wish I had more photos of that part of labor. I did have one, but can't find it anywhere! I'm kind of sad about it.) 

Kart holding me through it all, and making sure I was not to hot and not too cold (that fluctuated) and physically and emotionally getting me through the contractions and the experience in general.  He's my rock during labor! Melissa's encouraging words and calming presence. Sherri's determination to help me get our baby here safely and standing up for us at the hospital. My mom taking care of all the details we couldn't, and for her incredible support and care after Ollie arrived.

Just thinking about all my mom did to help me not just during labor but especially afterward, gets me teary-eyed again!  I could not have gotten through that first week with out her help.  She kept my home clean, and kept me fed, hydrated and spoiled me with treats, and before she left she stocked my fridge and freezer with meals and snacks. She took care of my kids when Kart wasn't home and was just so wonderful to have around. I wish she could've stayed for a month! Thankfully I also have wonderful friends in my ward family that took great care of me for the next 2 weeks after she left.  I had lots of meals, thoughtful gifts, and inspired visits and offers of help.  I'm grateful for good friends. Kart really stepped up and took over cooking many nights and the bedtime routine most nights for the first couple months after Ollie was born. Those first 2 months are always tough for me, but I survived because of people God blessed me with in my life. Now at almost 7 months old, Ollie is a chubby, smiley, giggly little boy who is a joy to have in our family.  The kids adore him and are so helpful! Life in general is a lot easier now and I look forward to watching him continue to grow and develop.

Aiden's Baptism Day

This past Saturday Aiden was baptized. It's one of the milestones in my children's life that I can't believe is already here!  It makes me feel so grown up, but mostly proud of him and grateful we must be doing something right as parents. He always surprises me with what he remembers from what he's been taught; by us and at church.  He really seems to have an understanding of what it means to be baptized, and receive the Holy Ghost. Although I'm sure that understanding will grow as he does. 

I spent a lot of time thinking about how we wanted to celebrate this special day and who we would have participate in it. I mostly just invited family members, and a few ward members who know Aiden well (primary teachers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, bishopric).  We were so grateful for everyone who came to support him, and our family! I'll probably invite more of our friends next time (for my other children's baptisms) but I felt like keeping it small this time around. 

Doing things for the first time is always a challenge, and planning a baptism for the first time was no exception.  Luckily I had some great support and help from the bishopric, primary presidency and the stake baptism people to help guide me through what to do and expect.  The primary presidency made the programs which I really appreciated, the Bishop conducted the meeting, and our family helped with talks, music and food afterward.  My mom played the piano, she and Kart's mom each gave a prayer, and my dad and Kart's dad did a great job on the talks.  My dad spoke on the Holy Ghost and Kart's dad spoke on Baptism.  Kart's sister Linnea played a beautiful medley of 3 songs (The Baptism Song, When I Am Baptized, and I Am A Child Of God) on her violin and my mom accompanied her on the piano.  I'm so glad I had her do the musical number.  I was going to sing a duet with her or my dad but finally settled on having her play instead, and it was definitely the right choice. I would've been too emotional to sing anyway, and I think she did an amazing job!

The program went well and then we moved to the baptismal font room to witness Kart baptize Aiden. That turned out to be much more emotional that I had anticipated.  I knew it might be moving but I wasn't expecting to cry so much! The spirit was so strong when Aiden was being baptized that I was overcome with tears as well as feelings of joy and gratitude. I had to leave the room right afterward partly because I felt embarrassed crying in front of everyone, and just to have a minute alone to collect myself. It was a very emotional moment for me. I am so grateful Kart was able to perform the baptism.  I feel like it was even more special because it was the first time Kart has baptized someone! (He helped convert people on his mission but never had the opportunity to be the one who performed the baptisms.)  Kart said after they got out of the water Aiden said "I did it!".  I thought that was cute. He's such a sweet boy and I'm so glad he felt good about his choice to be baptized.

While we waited for Kart and Aiden to change back into their church clothes we asked everyone, who would like to, to write down their testimony or thoughts they want to share with Aiden.  We handed out half sheets of paper and pens, and my mom played prelude while they wrote.  I plan to put the things they wrote in a baptism memory book I'm going to make for Aiden, along with the program, photos from that day, and his baptism certificate.

When Kart and Aiden returned, Kart along with our fathers, his grandpa Close, his brothers, and the bishop confirmed Aiden a member of the Church and blessed him with the gift of the Holy Ghost. Again, the spirit was strong and I felt Kart did a wonderful job.  I'm so grateful to be married to such a good man who tries hard to live a righteous life so he can bless our family with the Priesthood and be a good example to me and our children. I felt like everything went really smoothly and am so grateful to everyone who helped make it happen and those who were there to support us. It was a wonderful morning! 

The baptism was followed by lunch in our backyard for our family members.  I put a lot of thought into the menu and details of that lunch (because I'm kind of a perfectionist I guess) and was relieved to see it all turn out as great as I'd hoped it would be! Part of what was tricky was trying to figure out a menu that also worked for a vegetarian, and someone who is gluten and sugar-free! Thankfully I finally figured it out. The food was delicious and we were even able to find shade to set up the tables under our one tree in the backyard. (something I had worried about- the fact that there's not much shade in our yard) It was actually pretty cozy.

Earlier that week I did a photo shoot with Aiden at the Mount Timpanogos Temple in his church clothes, and I displayed some of those photos in white frames on the food table.  I'm really happy with how they turned out and love how they looked set up with the food.  

Really the whole day was perfect in my eyes.  I couldn't have been happier about it. There's no way I could have done it all with out the help of my amazing mother though! She helped me do the shopping, and a lot of food prep, as well as helping me keep my house clean.  I'm so grateful she was there, and not just for the help, but for the joy of having her and my dad around for a week to spend time with.  It was a lot of fun.  I know the kids loved having them here too. 

 I feel so blessed to have such great family; both my own as well as Kart's, who also helped us a lot that day.

 We always feel so much support in all that we do, and that is a huge blessing in our lives.

Baby wearing

The other day I was babysitting for a friend and her son wanted to be held but I needed to make lunch for the kids, so I pulled out my sling and wore him on my back while I finished making lunch. I love my sling and wish I had it with all my kids.  My mom made this one for me for when Emma was born.  It's so convenient and fast to get a baby in and out of- I love it!

My kids thought it was so cool and were inspired to make their own slings for their "babies". It was so sweet to see them baby wearing too! It made me happy.

Summer Gymnastics

Emma's been doing Gymnastics since the start of the year, and when summer was approaching her Coach invited her to be on a 5 year old gymnastics team. You have to have certain skills and show potential to be invited to be on a team, so I was happy to hear she received an invite.  But I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue through the summer because I wasn't sure I wanted to make the time commitment during the summer.  But ultimately I decided to let her do it because she really wanted to.

She really enjoys being on a team and the cooler tricks she gets to learn.  The first class she was in was more of a just-for-fun kind of class, but this one's more skill focused. I use to be one of 3 moms in the gallery watching upstairs, but I had no idea what a madhouse the summer is like at the gym! I kinda hate it.  It makes me not want to stay and watch. I'm just glad Emma is enjoying it!

End of First Grade

Aiden had a challenging year in first grade (The struggle really started in kindergarten- it just got worse this year.).  He has a hard time staying focused on his work and keeping up to the standard the state requires of his grade level.  But he had a great teacher, Mrs. Whiting who really did all she could to work with him, and me, to help him be successful.  I really appreciated all she did for him.  We ended up having a meeting with the school phycologist in the middle of the school year, and after testing him he felt that Aiden would benefit from taking ADD medication. Even though medicating my kids is something I thought I'd never do, after the struggle he went through most of the year, I was ready to try it.  So we met with his pediatrician and discussed it some more, ultimately deciding to give it a try, so he gave us a prescription for methylphenidate.  Starting a medication like that is tricky because there's so much adjusting before you figure out what works best.  But after a couple dosage adjustments we finally found one that worked.  His teacher said she saw a big improvement in his ability to focus, and at home I saw homework time went much more smoothly. He still struggles a little with the actual work, but at least now he's able to focus enough to do it. It was hard to get him to do anything at homework time before, but now he's able to sit and get work done with out me bugging him too much to stay on task.  That's been such a  nice change! I always hear from his teachers what a sweet boy he is, and it's so true.  I love Aiden, and it's hard to see him struggle in school.  I hope that eventually we'll find ways other than the medication to help him keep up and stay focused, but for now I'll try this.  I am so grateful for the amazing teachers he's had at his school so far.  I know that it was the right decision to put him in that school.  Although I'm grateful summer is here, it's sad to say goodbye to Mrs. Whiting.

Blowdryers are fun!

I love these kids! Isn't childhood the best? You can have fun anywhere, with the simplest things.

Date Night

Sometimes Kart and I are lucky enough to go on a date! Tonight Kart's Dad came over so we could go see a play we had tickets to. Before the play we had dinner at a new place I'd heard great things about called the Tortilla Bar. It's the TINIEST restaurant I've ever been to, literally there's only about 5 or 6 tables inside, but the food lived up to the hype; thankfully.

We had the steak tacos and beets with avocado tacos.

Both of them were as delicious as they were beautiful!

Then we stopped by The Chocolate to grab some of my favorite mint chocolate brownies for dessert, and headed over to the playhouse to see Urine Town.  I know I know, sounds weird.  It's a musical. I did like it, but there were some strange parts, and it wasn't nearly as funny as the other plays we've seen there. Overall it wasn't my favorite musical, but not bad, and still a very fun night. I was just happy to have a night out together, just the two of us!